Counselling Services for Family Dysfunction

Our families are often responsible for our most joyous moments. Unfortunately, they are often responsible for our most devastating moments as well.

There are many family-related events and experiences that can cause distress in both our childhood and our adulthood. Our childhood experiences play a HUGE role in how we interact in the world as adults.

Family dysfunction may be caused by:

• Poor, unqualified role models who didn’t guide us through our difficult times
• Flawed caregivers whose own negative experiences meant they were simply not able to provide the care we needed
• Neglectful or abusive caregivers, who may have addictions that took priority over parenting, creating unhealthy patterns of codependency
  

Growing up around dysfunctional caregivers often leads to issues developing during adulthood which need to be overcome.

Messages from family members who are supposed to love and care for us can end up damaging our self-worth instead.

The way each individual works through family dysfunction can vary greatly, even between siblings or from parent to child. For example, some people engage in conflict, while others do everything they can to avoid it.

The impact of family dysfunction may show up as:

• Low self-esteem
• Anger
• Jealousy
• Defensiveness
• Resentment
• Avoidance
• Isolation

Furthermore, we often take on (or are assigned) roles in the family. This can vary depending on sibling order, gender roles, personality traits, temperaments, etc.

There are big emotions at work in family dynamics. Talking with a counsellor may be just what you need to process and work through these difficult feelings.

There are many changes that take place in families that are difficult to process. Below I have outlined some of the more common causes of family dysfunction.

Illness or loss

A serious illness, injury, or the death of a family member can have a tremendous effect on a family unit.

Furthermore, the loss may affect each family member differently. These differing experiences can bring on disagreements on healthcare decisions, finances, living arrangements, cherished belongings, and other tender subjects.

Changes to the family structure

When families go through an ugly separation or divorce, the addition of children (or blending families), experience empty nest syndrome, second or third marriages – and so on – issues may arise between family members that need to be resolved.

Differing belief systems

Many families also have conflict around when they have different belief systems. Religion, politics, racism, and sexual orientation are just a few issues that get in between family members.

The march of time

Family relationships shift and change. As we grow, we gain more autonomy to make decisions about how we want to live and who and what to prioritize in or lives. That autonomy – and our choices – isn’t always well-received by our family.

We may always be influenced by our family experiences. If you need to work out family issues, talking with a professional can help.